Lengthy post about nothing:

It's so suffocating. I am just so afraid and terrified right now. There isn't anyone to talk to and I don't want to bother Choon. Besides, he's also stressed out anyway. I might just give him stress overload if I talk to him right now. Tomorrow things will be better but then I just have to figure out how to get from here to tomorrow. I hate reality. I really hate it. I hate the fact that we're all just working to survive so we won't die of gradual starvation. I feel so lost. I have no idea what to do with my life. I want to be a writer. I want to be an actress. I want to be a poet. I want to be an artist. I want a simple life but no, because the world has to make it so fucking difficult for everyone and everyone has to be so stressed because everyone needs to feed their family.

I just don't feel like going back to school anymore. I don't have the passion for it. I don't really want to talk non-stop on the radio or TV or some camera. I don't really want to sell products successfully if it means that I have to be logical. Yes, I hate that we have to be logical most of the time. I don't really want to break down messages from the media. It's not like it's something new to me anyways. I mean other than the official terms and stuff, I haven't learnt anything new that has made me go, "Wow, really?" Other than how to do proper filming and web designing, I think I haven't learnt much. I understand that it's good for me to be in FMS but somehow I just don't feel grateful. I feel.. blah. I feel like I would probably have more passion about a job involving criminal psychology. That does sound interesting. But knowing me I probably would just lose interest halfway too. == Ugh.

Sigh.. then again, maybe it's just my PMS or something like that.