Tired. Completely exhausted, yet unable to sleep. So I came online. Louis was nice enough to ask his dad to gimme a lift home. Thanksssssss. Otherwise I think I might just drop dead. Was close to dropping dead in his car.. Sigh. Missing Mr. Slow right now. Stupid idiot fell asleep on me while we're smsing halfway. _l_

Well. I'm confused. Omfgoodness I duno what to think right now. Why? Why? Why? All I can ask myself is why. Why did I let it happen, knowing it would turn out this way? Why did I go ahead, even though I knew it's wrong. I don't understand myself! Do I just like to give myself a reason to self-destruct. Maybe I am secretly a masochist. Yes, that must be it. Fuck. I'm so useless. I just want to bang my head against the wall. Those words keep replaying in my head.. It's been awhile since I've heard anyone ask me that. Made me feel awkward, but yet nice because it was familiar. Fuck. Somebody just kill me now... Sigh. Stressful. Really really really really stressful. I want to escape. I want to go back and undo the things that I shouldn't have done. But look at me now.. Look at what I've done to myself. Seriously, never would've thought it was possible to be in such a bad state...