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User: [krabbeh]
Info: Is not a fan of prequels nor sequels. Only originals!

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Thoughts

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010, 11:15 PM

:/

Fights always make me cry. Or at least tear up a little. It's not that I get sad about losing a friend or whatever, although occasionally that might be the case. But usually it's more about me being under a lot of stress and during fights, there are always loud noises which freak me out and make me want to hurt the person causing those noises. When I get too worked up or angry, I cry. When I get too scared and I start yelling, I cry. It's not that I like to yell, but it just seems like the right thing to do when in a fight. I know sensible people prefer to stay calm and gather their nerves and have their argument like well-mannered adults. But I don't like being quiet during a fight where I am directly involved because that makes me even more uncomfortable so I would rather start yelling and make no sense and act like an idiot and then start to break down instead of thinking and planning out my thoughts on what to say next. Anyway, I always assume people don't care about logic anymore when they start fighting. I mean, c'mon, you only care about winning the argument at that point right? Being under that kind of pressure and atmosphere just makes me cry and in very serious situations, tremble. I don't know why. I wish it didn't, but it does. And sometimes I really feel like gouging my eyes out because I really hate crying. The worst part about crying is when I start to wail uncontrollably. I just can't seem to shut the fuck up and then breathing gets difficult for me when it's really serious. That annoys the shitxczxcz outta me. I wish I could be like the cool people in those cheesy/sappy/lalala Korean dramas that my mum loves so much. Or like anime where they reach the conclusion or end of the battle and victorious music is playing and the winner says something cool like, "Because of blahblah, I can keep going forward! :DD" or "I swore to protect blahblah with all my life, so I definitely will not lose (and you can suck it!) :DD" and the defeated enemy will glare at him/her and say, "Dammit..." or "You..." or "I'm not done yet.." but collapse as soon as he tries to regain his dignity by standing up to fight some more. Oh gawd I watch too much anime. Soz, even though this might seem childish but I would just like to say, "I win!" Heehee.